Shadows Page 2

  “Your friend has lost her damn mind,” I tell Mary.

  “It’s happened to bigger men.” She smirks.

  “You talking about me, right?” Titan starts. “‘Cause you said bigger, and I know for a fact—”

  “Watch it,” Jax warns, and I’m glad it’s him and not me.

  “If you weren’t so fucking conceited, you’d be hot. But all that arrogance, along with that big truck you drive...” Renee holds up her pinky. “We all know you are overcompensating for something.”

  “Do you want to taste the goods, Renee, so you can let her know what to prepare herself for?” I stand and start unbuttoning my pants. “Come on over.”

  Frankie laughs. “Put that shit away.”

  I look at the way Mary looks at me and then at Renee. She seems hurt. Not cool.

  “I have to use the bathroom.” Mary stands and starts for the house.

  Jax scowls at me, whispering to Frankie, “You may want to go, too.”

  She gives him an odd look.

  “Trust me, Angel. That shit just affected her.”

  Both Renee and Frankie walk inside, and I wish I had been the one to do that.

  Then shit gets serious as Jax looks at us. “As fucked up as everything is, I wish I were going out with you two. I hate being left behind.”

  “Not left behind, Irons.” Titan lifts his beer. “Preparing for what’s next.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” I raise my drink.

  “So Smith is it?” Titan asks.

  “Yes. I think Shadows has the right idea. I just have to make sure he is on board. I have a lot of work to do and very little time to do it in, but it has to happen.”

  “Nothing has to happen. We have other things we can do, Irons. If you wanna chill, you go ahead, none of us would blame you.” I don’t want him to feel like our plan is set in stone. Shit happens, people change.

  “Chill and sit back? I’m no good at that, and you both know it just as well as you know that would never fly with you. We try. If it doesn’t work, then on to other things. But I’m not a quitter, and I am not gonna sit back in the dark with my tail between my legs. I’m gonna fight those motherfuckers.”

  The girls come back out.

  “Renee had a good idea. Do the two of you have social media?” Frankie asks.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “They should run your pages, build them up, get more interaction so that you are both visible when November hits. You’re Jaxson’s closest friends; he needs you to be visible. It doesn’t hurt that you’re military men,” Frankie says.

  “Cock blocks, no thank you.” Titan laughs.

  Frankie shrugs. “It was just a suggestion. They’re gonna head out.”

  “Going home? The night is young,” Titan says.

  “I’m going out; Mary’s going home,” Renee says.

  “Give me a ride, Little Lamb?” I ask.

  “Sure,” she says quietly. She looks around at the shocked expressions. “He doesn’t need to drink and drive.”

  “He can get a cab,” Jax suggests, and I want to kick his ass.

  “I will be fine, won’t I?” she asks me.

  “Fuck, yes, you will.” I stand. “Take me home, Little Lamb.”

  I stand and give them all a half-hug then get the orders to fly safely.

  The Necessary Evil

  Shadows

  It’s zero slaughter thirty, and I need to reel it in. There is no more them, just us and a focus on a mission I will complete tonight.

  I walk out the door, following the Little Lamb to her car where she hits the key fob to unlock it.

  “You lock it every time you go somewhere?” I ask as I grab my already packed overnight bag from my Jeep, lock it up, and walk to her vehicle.

  “Habit.” She gets in the driver’s side as I slide in the passenger seat.

  “Good habit to have.” I fumble around, trying to find the lever to move the seat back because my knees are hitting the dashboard.

  “It’s on the side,” she says as she starts the little white Camry. “You want to give me your address?”

  “No, I plan on staying with you,” I tell her.

  “I have a boyfriend. I don’t plan on—”

  “Didn’t say I was gonna try to get into your little panties, Little Lamb. And if I have to use the old ‘I’m leaving tomorrow, heading into dangerous territory, just let me lie with you tonight’ sob story, I will. But I think you know damn well what you were getting into when I asked for a ride.”

  “I have a boyfriend,” she repeats as she pulls out onto the street. I know damn well she’s trying to convince herself. I know better.

  “Who is in the Hamptons with his family. A boyfriend who doesn’t even know you, does he?”

  “He knows me.”

  “Your past, everything you’ve been through? Does he know—”

  “Stop,” she whispers.

  “Fine. Let me ask you something. Does he say he loves you? If yes, does he also show you in actions, in the way he cares for you, your body, your—”

  “Our relationship is none of your business. Now what is your address?”

  I rattle off hers, knowing damn well she will take me there.

  Everything in the past few months has been leading up to this. I came prepared.

  We walk into her and Renee’s pad, the one Frankie used to share with them. I know they can’t afford it without her portion of the rent.

  “You can sleep in Frankie’s old room.”

  I set my bag on the table and pull out a file then a bank bag. “Sit for a minute.”

  She looks down at the folder and then back at me as she crosses her arms and rubs her hands up and down them, as if she is trying to warm herself.

  I sit down then nod to the empty chair across the table, she lets out a deep breath and sits.

  I push the folder toward her. “I know everything about you, even things that aren’t in the background investigation.”

  “Why? I didn’t ask for any of this. I—”

  “Like to slide by unnoticed? How the hell do you expect to do that all your life when you look the way you do? Little lamb, you are a beautiful young woman.” She starts to say something, but I stop her by holding up my hand. “You don’t like attention; you tried to hide yourself in dark clothes and way too much black makeup from the time you were in the tenth grade on. You feel like you should be ashamed, but you don’t realize yet that you didn’t ask for it. Only this past year, your junior year in college, did you finally let down that mask. And, my god, Mary, you are stunning. You haven’t fully allowed yourself to accept how beautiful you are and that the shame you feel is not yours.”

  “I don’t know what you think you know, but you’re wrong.” She swallows her lie.

  “Open the file in front of you.”

  She shakes her head.

  “Open it.”

  She takes a deep breath and opens the file.

  “That’s me. That’s what only Uncle Sam knows about Jebadiah Shadows, my juvenile record. Interesting reading, but I’ll give you a brief summary. I beat four men within inches of their lives since those four pieces of shit thought it was all right to pass around my sister because she was raised in a trailer park, AKA the white boy hood, while she was fucked up on the drugs she shared with my parents. Now, four against one and the one being the only one to walk away was kind of a joke, and the judge was a retired Navy officer. I wouldn’t say I felt remorse, because I fucking didn’t. I spent some time in juvie, and when I got out, that same judge took me under his wing, so to speak, and I ended up here today.”

  “Is she okay?” she whispers.

  “No. She took her own life while I was locked up—well, she overdosed. Same fucking thing if you ask me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Nature of the beast,” I say and roll my neck. “People can’t be helped unless they are ready and actually seek help. I suppose that’s why this life works for me.” Feeling a little
more vulnerable than I expected, I pull back the file.

  “I won’t tell anyone.”

  “I know that. My sister—fucked up or not—didn’t deserve what she got. She did leave herself in a very compromising position and shouldn’t have. Other people who face abuse—”

  She holds up her hand. “Please don’t.”

  I lean in closer to her. “I see you, Mary. I see you and all the beautiful things inside of you. I am slightly obsessed with you, actually. I wanna know how you survived what she couldn’t.”

  “You’re assuming I was abused.”

  “When I look at you, I don’t see abused, Mary. I see a quiet strength that I want to bottle up and share with the world. Strength you don’t even know you possess. I want to empower you.”

  “Yet you talk to me the way you do.”

  “I get hard every time I see you.”

  She narrows her eyes. “And you don’t think that statement or the prior one about being obsessed with me should scare the hell out of me?”

  “It should. It absolutely should. But I’m one of the good guys, Little Lamb.”

  She looks down at the table.

  “In the bag, there are keys to my apartment, my Jeep, and—”

  She holds up her hand. “Wait just a minute.”

  “You can’t afford this place, and I’ll be gone for an unknown amount of time. I need someone to feed my plants. It’s safe, and you’re jumping into this circus—”

  “I haven’t made my decision.”

  “Yes, you have. So has Renee. There are three bedrooms and a security system. It’s safe, and it’s a hell of a lot nicer than this place.”

  “I have a boyfriend.”

  “A boy you allow to toy with you. You need to figure that one out on your own.”

  “He won’t take kindly to the interruption of our schedule.”

  “The two nights a week he stays over?”

  “I should really feel uneasy about the amount of time you spend obsessing over me.” She leans in toward me in a feeble attempt at intimidation, but it’s a damn good start.

  “Look at you. The little lamb is being assertive.” I lean closer, and she doesn’t back up.

  She scowls. “Does it mess with your incredibly large ego?”

  “No, babe. It kind of gets me hot.”

  Clearly shaken she stands up abruptly nearly knocking over the chair. “I’m going to bed.”

  I wait until I hear her door shut then stand up and put the file back in my bag. I give her a few minutes more then take the bag and make my way to her room.

  When I open the door, she is pulling on her nightgown.

  “Shadows—”

  “I’m putting this in your nightstand.” I walk over and pull open the drawer.

  She yells as she storms toward me, “Don’t you—”

  “Well, well, well...What have we here?” I pull out the little silver bullet.

  “Get out!” she says as she jumps in her bed, slides under the covers, and hides her face.

  I pull my shirt over my head and drop my pants. “I’m leaving tomorrow, heading into dangerous territory. Just let me lie with you tonight.” I laugh when I hear her huff.

  “This is wrong on so many levels,” she says from under the covers.

  “Tell me to get out again, and I will.”

  “I need a drink, maybe three,” she grumbles.

  I slide in next to her, pulling the covers off her face. “Tell me you want me to leave.”

  She looks at me and shakes her head.

  “You feel the same thing I do.”

  She trembles. “You know my secrets.”

  “You know mine,” I say as I push her hair behind her ear.

  “Yours aren’t secrets,” she says softly as I rub the soft, pale skin on her face.

  “They are.”

  “Why me?”

  “I told you, there is something about you I just can’t shake. The little lamb hiding in the shadows and fuck if I don’t want to be that shadow.”

  “If this happens—”

  “When this happens,” I correct her as I slowly bring my face to hers.

  “I have a boyfriend,” is the last thing she says before her lips crash against mine.

  She shoves her tongue in my mouth and darts it in and out. It’s stiff, forced, and it pisses me off.

  I push her back and see she looks angry.

  I roll her so that she is in a prone position. Then, before she can say anything, I push her hair to the side and rub my lips down the side of her neck.

  “You smell incredible.” I breathe in a scent that I now immediately recognize whenever she’s around. “I’ve tried for months now to figure out what it is. Jasmine mixed with a lavender body wash and—”

  “Why are you doing this?” she whispers.

  “Doing what, Mary?” I ask behind her ear.

  “I know what you want.”

  “I’m sure you do. I haven’t tried to hide it.” I kiss down her neck to her shoulders, kissing across them as I push the thin spaghetti strap to the side with my nose.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re weak and I’m strong, yet you challenge me. You don’t give in. But every move, look, word you say to push me away tells me you want the opposite. You want this so fucking bad. You’ve made a bit of a game out of this. I like the challenge. But more than that—” I pull her to her side and maneuver my body over hers, rolling her gently to her back.

  “I like the hunt, and then I like the capture.”

  “If I give in, will you please just let it go?”

  “Don’t you dare give in,” I say as I run my teeth lightly down her neck. “Fight me, Mary.”

  Her body trembles as she sits up. “I can’t do this,” she says, turning so her back is to me.

  I sit up and push her hair to the side then kiss her neck as I sit on my knees behind her, slowly licking from her shoulder to the soft skin behind her ear.

  “You can, you are, and you will,” I say and then take her lobe gently between my teeth and pull. “You. Will.”

  Her head falls to the side, an invitation for further exploration. An invitation I know I am going to misuse.

  She leans into me, and I whisper, “Don’t give in to me.”

  Overshadowed

  Mary

  In my head, I am screaming, I won’t! Inside, I’m screaming, I can’t! I know this is wrong, so wrong.

  “You’re trembling,” he says in a thick, deep voice as he kisses and licks down my neck. “Tell me to stop, Little Lamb.” He strokes his tongue back up to my ear then taunts, “Tell me to stop.”

  I know I should stop this, but I can’t. I don’t want him to stop, and it’s wrong, but it feels so right. As much as I know my relationship with Joe will never hold the passion you see in a movie or read in a book, it is safe.

  Shadows is anything but safe.

  Lieutenant Shadows, whose name is a complete contradiction to this larger than life man. The man whose presence and persona mock the name he was born with leaves tomorrow for an unknown amount of time, to an undisclosed location. I may never see him again. I may not feel the electricity or energy he causes to surge through my body, wreaking havoc on my emotions and me physically. I am not sure if I am afraid of that feeling or crave it.

  I close my eyes tightly, my chest aching at the thought. It has only been months that I have known him, yet the thought of him not being here, being near, kills me. I need an answer, dammit. I need it so badly, and I don’t know why.

  “Don’t stop,” I say.

  He wraps his hand around my hair then pulls my head farther to the side. His kisses become more intense as he nips at my earlobe, licks its rim, and then moves back to my neck, sucking, nipping, and kissing?

  It doesn’t feel like he is kissing me. It feels like he is bruising me with the intensity of what can only be described as a kiss.

  My nipples press against the satin of my nightgown, and I take in a deep breat
h.

  “Fuuuuck,” he groans as he nips and licks down my neck.

  He pulls me back against him, his arm wrapping around my waist. Then he slowly moves his hands down my side, sliding underneath the hem of my nightgown and pushing up slowly but not gently.

  The noises that escape his mouth against my neck are that of anger, of pain, of lust, of hunger all mixed together, making me completely aware that his many comments about the slaughter of the lamb were not in jest.

  All those months, he sent me warnings, and they turned into me secretly wanting him. All those times he joked, they were his admissions, which turned into me craving him. Both wanting and craving were not things I had imagined. Deep down, I knew it. Oh god, how I wanted it not to be real.

  With his free hand, he trails up my arm, leaving a wave of goosebumps. His grip tightens on my shoulder as he works his mouth up my neck to my chin. So close to my lips, so dangerously close.

  He cups the swell of my breast and rubs his thumb hard across my painfully erect nipple, causing me to gasp. He then covers my mouth with his, caressing his tongue across my lower lip. I open to him, allowing his tongue to surge into my mouth, licking deep, harsh strokes up and down my tongue as he cups my breast roughly.

  He moves backward enough so that he can lie me down where I was to begin with. Then, when his lips reconnect to mine, I can’t help stroking my tongue against his.

  He groans and pulls back. His eyes are fire, hot, liquid volcanoes. Warning bells should be sounding. Hell, they are, but I don’t want to run to safety. I want to be consumed.

  “You look so scared, Little Lamb. You look scared, yet you lie there. Tell me something.” He strokes across my cheek with the back of his hand, and instinctively, I melt against it. “How many times have you thought about this moment?”

  He is beautiful. His chiseled face and tanned skin make him even more so. He’s blond, which is new to me. Dark-haired men have always been the ones who seem to come into my life.

  I stare into his blazing blue eyes, not wanting to answer. Instead, I reach up and grip the back of his neck and pull him down as I lift up into the kiss I want so badly.